First lets discuss the four different types of people or roles who have a major impact on your life and then we’ll get into some of the specific areas where you should be aware of the people who influence you. Some people can play more than one role at the same time, or change roles over time and they can influence you in multiple areas of your life.

Models

Humans model their behavior based on what other humans do. We can’t help it. We can play a very active behavior in choosing some of the behaviors that we model, but we are simply wired to act like other people so we should try to choose wisely when selecting the people we model. We call them role models, idols, heros, archetypes and even stars.

What makes models different from the other roles is that you don’t have a direct interaction with them. That means they can be alive or dead, near or far, real or fictional. They are simply the people you admire and want to be more like whether you know it or not.

Models are like the target we are aiming for.

Mentors

Mentors are different than models because there is a relationship. Mentors have already done the thing you are trying to do and provide you with feedback. Sometimes even a tiny amount of feedback from the right person at the right time can make all the difference. Mentors provide advice, guidance and help. Both mentees and mentors benefit from the relationship, but the flow of information is usually one way, from the mentor to the mentee. The relationship is usually motivated by some sort of exchange other than money.

Mentors are the Models that we know.

Managers

Managers are the people who are paid to compel you do the things you are supposed to do, and do them better. Sometimes they are paid by you and sometimes by others. Other names include, supervisor, coach, teacher, trainer, instructor, consultant, boss, official and officer. These relationships are also defined by a mostly one way flow of information. The manager provides information and ideally, encouragement. There are many different “management styles” but “coaching” has proven to be one of the most effect. The process involves; providing information, experience and feedback. Their specialized knowledge, experience and outside perspective is essential for maximum results. The best at anything and everything have coaches because it is the only way to become your very best.

Managers help us push our limits and are required for excellence.

Masterminds

Masterminds are about a mutual exchange of information. When people come together for a “brainstorming session” or when they “bounce ideas” they are masterminding. Two or more minds working together on anything is greater than the sum of it’s parts and creates a combined Master Mind. Masterminds are often called a council, committee, board of directors, board of advisors, trustees, cabinet and even brain trust. The groups are supreme at generating ideas, setting goals and holding each other accountable for achieving goals.

Masterminds fuel creativity and accelerate achievement.

4Mx10

There are no perfect people so it makes sense that we may admire some qualities of a person while not liking other aspects. That’s why we should choose the people we admire for the specific traits we admire them for, or the specific area of life where we would like to emulate their results.

I’ve identified several different areas of my life where I want to continue to improve and where I believe finding the best models, mentors, managers and masterminds is one of the best ways to do so.

I created a document to help me identify and keep track of who these people are. If you want your own copy so you can identify your own 4Mx10 people, post a comment below.

Some people write music.

Some people play an instrument.

Some people conduct an orchestra.

Each one is essential.

Being mature doesn’t just mean that you’re grown up. Being mature is a mindset. It takes practice. It takes time. It can be taught.

“Maturity is the ability to stick to a job until its finished, the ability to do the job without being supervised, the ability to carry money without spending it, and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even.”

– Dear Abbey

I love going to the gym late at night. I go to 24-Hour Fitness, so I can go any time, but late at night there are no crowds and no waiting.  There are few distractions and it is easy to focus on the task at hand.

I’ve always known that staying in shape makes me feel and look better. I have more energy and it improves the quality of my sleep. I have recently realized that another major benefit is that I feel better about myself when I work out too. I feel proud that I am keeping a promise to myself.

I’ve also realized that going to the gym is very rewarding because I know EXACTLY what my goals are. I know what muscle groups I will work and what exercises I will do. I know how long it will take. I even know how I will feel when I am done.

The lesson that I have learned is that having clearly defined goals and self imposed time constraints can help me in every aspect of my life.

Do you like to go to the gym?

Have you had success using specific short-term goals and deadlines to get more done and feel a sense of accomplishment?

Leave a comment below!

Directv has a new moto.  “It will change your life”.  I assume they mean in a good way, but research would probably say differently.  At least about tv in general.  A local radio morning show was talking about a study that found that people who watch more than four hours of tv a day were more likely to die of any cause.  I really began to understand the difference between causation and correlation when I read the book Freakonomics.  It is easy to think that something is the cause just because two things happen at the same time.  It could simply be that people who are dying watch a lot of tv because they are unhealthy and can’t do much else.  Or, as the DJ’s I heard this morning assumed, maybe sitting on the couch watching tv is a primary cause of our unhealthiness.  Seth Godin claims that he doesn’t watch tv, or go to meetings.  I don’t know if I could take it that far, but image all the time it would free up!  Clay Shirky helped to quantify the collective amount of time we spend vegging out in front of the tube and even used Wikipedia as a unit.  Are we beginning to learn better ways of spending our cognitive surplus?  We may be witnessing a revolution, but TV is still a sacred part of American culture.  A co-worker of mine got a surprise bonus, and his first thought was “big screen”!  The first caller on the radio show asked, “what else are we supposed to do?”.  Most adults grew up watching tv.  Most of us never dreamed of today’s toys.  New gadgets like the iPab continue to blur the line between fun and functional.  Digital media is highly portable and very easy to share.   As Mark Cuban wrote that “the IPad will change how kids grow up”.  Entertainment is becoming interactive.  Finding music videos on youtube and sharing them with your friends on Facebook must require a little more brain activity than sitting on the couch watching Lost.  It certainly doesn’t require much more physical activity, so it may not do much for our health, but it just might do wonders for our society.   As future generations grow up using interactive technology they may spend their time creating and collaborating rather that sitting and watching.  Today’s kids use Facebook to talk about not wanting to do their homework or the cute boy in science class, but they also use it to have meaningful discussions about the tragedy in Haiti.  There is tremendous power in the collaboration of human minds.  My children will be “connected” by default and will simply expect to be able to exchange ideas and information worldwide at will.  Anytime, anywhere. The real question isn’t where whill they find the time, but what will they create?

Last weekend I watched Alice In Wonderland in 3D, another masterpiece by Tim Burton. The movie is visually stunning and Johnny Depp is amazing as The Mad Hatter. The story takes place many years after the original and Alice has grown up to be a very curious young woman. We learn that her father was a visionary and taught his daughter some very important lessons. Before Alice can save Wonderland she must first believe that she can. Believing in the impossible is the first step to making it possible. The people who have shaped our world have always known this. Henry Ford is famous for believing in his vision so much that when his engineers told him that it was simply not possible he told them to “produce it anyway” and to “go ahead and stay on the job until you succeed, no matter how much time is required”. And they did. The impossible for you right now might be finding a job, getting out of debt or maybe just learning how to be happy and enjoy life. Whatever the challenge, if you believe and refuse to quit, you can make it reality, just like Alice and Henry Ford.